Building and Maintaining a Shared Language + Abandoning Language —>

Every person practicing DEI eventually runs into the same wall: you’re using the same words as others, but you’re not speaking the same language.

I recently saw a social media post where a person was asking for advice on the phrase ‘assume positive intent’ and whether it has run its course. ‘Assume positive intent’ is usually a ground rule, invitation, or an agreed upon boundary, groups create for themselves as they practice DEI.

The argument was that ‘assume positive intent’ creates a blanket excuse for people to be harmful without accountability and this gives more weight to the intent, instead of the impact. They wondered if the phrase should be abandoned all together for something else. (Scroll down to see the one solution that was presented that I think is great!)

This is the problem a shared language is supposed to solve and it does. But if a shared language isn’t maintained, it is easy to say the thing and mean something totally different. As the original poster shared more of their thoughts on ‘assume positive intent’ I realized that we had two very different working definitions of that phrase.

I’m very intentional when I use ‘assume positive intent.’ Usually, I’m in groups where we have built trust with one another and the goal is to deepen our understanding and work towards a common goal. Assume positive intent has always meant that we give ourselves and others grace in this space of learning and unlearning, so long as everyone is genuinely on this journey together. No ‘I want to play devil’s advocate’ or ‘it hasn’t happened to me so it can’t be real.’

To me, every word or phrase is applicable to an extent and I tend to make clear where that boundary is so everyone has a shared understanding.

Here’s how the Table of Diversity approaches all three:

Step 1: Build a shared language and understanding on purpose.

Building a shared language is easy, host a training, include it in a survey, put it in an initiative. Now, everyone is using it in their corner of the world. Before you use the latest trending word or phrase, ask yourself these three questions to be more purposeful in the words you use in your day-to-day vocabulary.